Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
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