Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
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