What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?
One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!
What do you call fake oranges?
“Pulp Fiction”
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Why did the man continue to eat whole peaches? Because he has a bottomless pit.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
The walnut got in trouble for pecan through the window.
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
Cherry pie can be a bit aggressive. Rumor has it they go around saying, “Hey! You want a piece of me?”
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What’s an apple’s favorite movie? Mr and Mr Smith.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
“My bowl of soup must be cracked as it is all wet down here”. “Well, I guess it is because your soup has a leek in it.
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
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