What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
The apple says to the pineapple “What? Go out with you tonight? It will not happen in a million years!” Since then, we have a crushed pineapple.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple !
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
I just caught a walking pear tree...
In my Pear Ent trap.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
“Mom, what do we have for this dinner?” – “I cannot tell you. It is a little soup-prise, son!”
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
The walnut got in trouble for pecan through the window.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
Cow's that eat strawberries give strawberry milk.
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
What excuse did the late watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, I’m just rind the corner.
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
When should you take a cookie to the doctor? When it feels crummy. What do the cookie and the computer have in common? They both have chips.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
What does a pizza wear to smell good?
Calzogne.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
I wasn’t sure if I ordered enough tacos from Taco Bell.
So I got a just in quesadilla.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
Why do ice cream cones make such bad athletes?
They always get licked.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What do pizza delivery guys and porn stars both see too much of?
Stiff tips.
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
Time to celery-brate.
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