Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
Did you know you can make a really good music player out of a cherry cake? It’s called a gateau blaster.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Why did the hare go to the taco truck?
He couldn't beat the tortas.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What do you get when you put Cola in an oven?
Baking soda.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
"I just want some peach and quiet!," said the orange.
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
One should always practice what they peach.
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
Why did black chocolate cry over his wine glass?
Because it was his bitter half.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
My friends say that I cannot cook alphabet soup for this dinner. And now they are eating their words.
What is a monkey’s favourite cookie?
Chocolate Chimp!
My Ex Girlfriend stole my Hummus.
I told that chick, peace
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
Talibanana.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
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