What is the perfect name for a sad strawberry? It is called a blueberry.
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
"Thanks a brunch for the meal!", said the punny man when he sat to eat.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
Why don't anarchists drink green tea?
Because it helps fight free radicals.
When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
I had one nutty nightmare last night, it gave me a kola sweat.
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
You don't know jack-o-lantern
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They're well-bread.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
What do you call a field full of epileptic lettuce ?
Seizure Salad
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
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