Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
Join us for a slice of fun.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?
Dates.
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
Have you heard about the chocolate box thief? He’s always got a few Twix up his sleeve.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
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