What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
"Adulting makes me wine."
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
This foundation is rock salad.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
Do you know what the common thing between a pineapple and a king is? Both of them wear a crown proudly on their top.
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
The soup was too spicy to be had by us. It was the borscht soup I had ever had.
The unripe strawberry wasn't added to the starting lineup of the game because he was too green.
What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple. What did the apple say to the apple pie? "You've got some crust."
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
When I was in basic training we couldn't have salt or pepper.
Those were reserved for the seasoned veterans.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
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