What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
Keep calm and carrot on.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
Did you hear about the flatmate who woke up to a spicy toothbrush? He had it cumin.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
My girlfriend said we aren't getting married until she has a pear shape
It's the reason we cantaloupe
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
Q: Why are orange and banana phones so popular these days?
A: They have appeal.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
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