Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
There are actually two types of apple: pine – apple and bad – apple.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
"Sip happens."
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
The police officer only had soups for dinner. He was a soup-erintendent.
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe.
he dropped the beet.
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
My friend: *Throws salt at me*
Me: Don’t assault me!
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Join us for a slice of fun.
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
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