What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
What do strawberries wear to bed?
Jammies!
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
"I make pour decisions."
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
They're pickle-ish.
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?
Desserted
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
When I was in basic training we couldn't have salt or pepper.
Those were reserved for the seasoned veterans.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
Most of the fruits usually drink their juice with a straw-berry.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
My girlfriend was seasoning the soup. I asked, "What spice is that?", and she replied "Sage".
I said, "Sounds wise".
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
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