My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
We all know that the New England Patriots have their soup in the Super Bowl.
What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
“I only like lemons,”
Said Michael zestfully.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
When you finish the lemons that life gives you;
Sublime.
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I'd had enough.
"Why don't you pickle someone your own size?" I shouted.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
What did the pickle say to the lemon?
I relish our time together
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
Fake ramen noodles are also called the impasta.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
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