What kind of candy never arrives on time? Chocolate
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
I yam what I yam.
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
What is a monster's favorite food? Ghoul scout cookies.
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
What do you call it when a taco stands in your way ?
An obs-taco
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
The soup that she cooks is so thick that the kitchen would go around when she stirs it.
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
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