Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
An Native American drank 100 cups of tea.
Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? A; Because he heard the cakes were rich.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
What do you call royal pineapple? Your pine-ness.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
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