Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
"It's wine o'clock."
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.
You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
What is a vampire who loves eating strawberry jam called? A jampire.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice.
People were really sour about it.
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
One should always practice what they peach.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school? For the Soup-erintendent.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
American cherries generally do pretty well at high school. Many of them end up on the cherryleading squad.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
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