What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Apparently, they're long enough already.
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? Lookin' Sharp.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
Why do the French eat snails? They dislike fast food.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
.
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
When strawberries, blueberries or blackberries meet another berry they like and want to get married who do they go see?
The marionberry
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What do you call a cow that has 2 legs? Side of beef
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
What do we get when we mix an iPhone and a Christmas tree? A pine – apple!
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
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