Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
What do you call bananas who are friends with monkeys? A bunch of idiots.
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg? Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener
Why did one melon break up with the other melon?
“He didn’t know water problem was.”
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Cow's that eat strawberries give strawberry milk.
You knead me in your loaf. This one kind of works, but loaf is just a little too different from life.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
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