What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
"I mead more wine."
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?
“Nuttin”
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
What did the pickle say to the lemon?
I relish our time together
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
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