Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
A strawberry will never help another strawberry because they tend to always get into jams.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? Lookin' Sharp.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
There’s muffin I wouldn’t do for breakfast.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
Why do people love juicy pineapple? Because it “ripens” their day.
Have you ever seen the episode of VeggieTales directed by Tarantino?
It’s called Mango Unchained.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate.
Predictive Text
It's the scurge of the hummus rice.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
What did the pickle say to the lemon?
I relish our time together
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
What’s sweet and goes woof?
Pupcakes!
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
Go to BabaMail
