Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
Join us for a slice of fun.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are on the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
It’s common for people with heartbreaks to crumble.
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
What nut is broken?
“A silly nut”
What kind of keys do kids like to carry? Cookies!
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
Wife told me to grow a pear.
I did. It tasted delicious.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets Jalapeno business.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
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