Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
What is the best way to make gold soup? By adding 22 carrots in it.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
Do you know what firemen often add to their soup? – They add firecrackers.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder nut milk.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
Why did the pineapple’s phone die? It needed juice.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $2.50. Deer nuts are under a buck
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
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