What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
The soup that my mom made for dinner healed my flu in a day. It was almost soup-er natural.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
What do you call it when a taco stands in your way ?
An obs-taco
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Corny on the Cobb.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
I hope for world peas.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??
Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns! What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!"
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
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