Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
There are actually two types of apple: pine – apple and bad – apple.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
So I was cleaning my spice cabinet...
and now I have a lot of thyme on my hands!
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
I hate it when I run out of bread for breakfast. I am lack-toast intolerant.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
Chopping down other people’s cherry trees is definitely frowned upon. However, you likely won’t get into too much trouble for it – as long as you keep hold of the axe!
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
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