What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
How does a vampire make tea? With a used tampon.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
"Here for the right riesling."
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
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