Did I invite you to the Barbecue?
Then why are you all up in my grill?
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? A; Because he heard the cakes were rich.
I had one nutty nightmare last night, it gave me a kola sweat.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
"Love the wine you're with."
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
Q: Why are orange and banana phones so popular these days?
A: They have appeal.
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
Why did the watermelon go crazy?
“He lost his rind.”
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They're well-bread.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
So I was standing in the grocery store comparing the prices of a couple packs of hummus when my roommate came up to me and suggest the off brand roasted red pepper kind to which I replied:
"Ya, I'm not really sure about that brand. They seem to be very hit and hummus for me."
He was not impressed.
Why did the hare go to the taco truck?
He couldn't beat the tortas.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
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