The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
What do you say when a fruit wins the talent show? How about them apples?
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
What do you call a Boston creme donut that’s a straight-A student?
The creme of the crop.
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
Keep calm and carrot on.
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Why did the peach go to the therapist? It was in a pit of despair.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
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