What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What drink scares defense lawyers? Guilt-Tea.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They're well-bread.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
I grew up in a really rough area. I would walk out of the house and other kids would leap out and sprinkle me with cream, cherries and shaved chocolate. Life was tough, growing up in the gateau.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
They're pickle-ish.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
You’re wine in a million.
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
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