What is the suckiest fruit?
A strawberry.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
Did you hear about the corn stalk that changed careers?
He went into a different field!
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
What's a baby gherkin's favorite TV channel?
Pickleodeon.
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
"I mead more wine."
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple !
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
Go to BabaMail
