Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
The perfect name for a sad and morose strawberry is a blueberry.
What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? Lookin' Sharp.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.
Still can't get the last of that ketchup out.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
Those people are preparing peach gelato because they want to demonstrate their rights to freeze peach!
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What do you give a horse that has just won the Kentucky Derby? An Appletini.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
My girlfriend said we aren't getting married until she has a pear shape
It's the reason we cantaloupe
Tennis matches and strawberry jam have one thing in common. Cons-serve.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
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