I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
Join us for a slice of fun.
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
Interesting fact: A nectarine can also be a peach if it does not have peach fuzz.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? A; Because he heard the cakes were rich.
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
Some people say popcorn is hard to chew. There’s a kernel of truth to that.
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
Why did the farmer feed his pigs a mixture of sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce? He wanted sweet and sour pork.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
The reason he went smiling all the way to the jail is because the judge sentenced him to a life behind chocolate bars.
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