What is a ghosts favorite soup? Scream of Broccoli.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
“I’m being stalked!”
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
My friend: *Throws salt at me*
Me: Don’t assault me!
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
What do you call a single, solitary kernel of corn?
A unicorn!
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
There are actually two types of apple: pine – apple and bad – apple.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
So yesterday I saw a bottle of ketchup steal a bottle of mustard
'Twas saucepicious
What kind of evidence can a donut not take to trial?
Anecdoughtal evidence.
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
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