Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Q: Why are orange and banana phones so popular these days?
A: They have appeal.
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
I need to take this picture for my instayam
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
Have you heard about the chocolate box thief? He’s always got a few Twix up his sleeve.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
This foundation is rock salad.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
Why did Bill's friend get covered in beer?
Because William Shakes Beer.
How does lettuce listen to music?
Headphones.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
I yam what I yam.
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
"Partners in wine."
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
When strawberries, blueberries or blackberries meet another berry they like and want to get married who do they go see?
The marionberry
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
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