What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
What is the cherry fruit's favorite American talkshow? The Cherry Springer Show of course!
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
"Be kind, re-wine."
I saw a real rob-bbery today. It happened right before my berry eyes.
Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
What is the suckiest fruit?
A strawberry.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
ALDI’s nuts.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Sorry kids - we won't be carving pumpkins this year... Sorry to squash your enthusiasm.
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
He says to the doctor, "Help me Doc, what's the matter with me?"
The doctor replies, "That's easy. You're not eating properly."
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
I love you a tot!
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
What do you get when you photocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
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