How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
I had one nutty nightmare last night, it gave me a kola sweat.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
"I mead more wine."
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
What song do young peaches love listening to? 'Papa don't peach'.
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
What do you get when you put Cola in an oven?
Baking soda.
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Why does the lettuce always win the bodybuilding competition?
Cuz it starts a head and is usually shredded.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
We’re a perfect mash.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
How did the fruit get to Hawaii? The pineapple express.
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?
Dates.
I heard they sent a beer into space, destined to leave the solar system. They called it Interstella Artois.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
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