What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
The man on the table found hair in his soup. He said in rage "I will take the chef to soup-reme court".
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Where do you put nectarines when you want to freeze them? Inside the peach-zer.
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
What’s an orange’s favourite animal? An orange-utan.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
What do citrus fruits use to get dates?
Pickup limes.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
What do you call a pear in a compressor?
Pear pressure!
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
What's a redneck's favorite beer?
An open one.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
The police officer only had soups for dinner. He was a soup-erintendent.
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
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