Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
You and I make a deluxe combo.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
You know what they say about ice cream parents?
They play flavorites.
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
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