A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
After the death of his wife a few years, the pineapple stands on the graveyard and says “I pine for you, sweetheart!”
How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
I got arrested for the way I eat corn.
They charged me with a salt and buttery.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
They're pickle-ish.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What's a baby gherkin's favorite TV channel?
Pickleodeon.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
The police officer only had soups for dinner. He was a soup-erintendent.
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What do you do if you see a blue banana? Try to cheer it up.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
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