When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
What happened to the men who lost their lettuce?
I don't know, but apparently they lost their heads.
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
Why do farmers make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are corny!
Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
“They’re seedy.”
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?.
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said I was jammed.
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
He says to the doctor, "Help me Doc, what's the matter with me?"
The doctor replies, "That's easy. You're not eating properly."
I like you a latke!
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
What do strawberries wear to bed?
Jammies!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
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