Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
Maturity is typically most rapid in a low latitude, where women and pineapples most do thrive.
What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically.
Buy the dip.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
How do you make sweet corn?
You whisper sweet nothings in its ear!
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg? Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
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