How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
Q: Why did the fruit go to the salon?
A: To peach her hair blonde.
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
Fake ramen noodles are also called the impasta.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Do you know what is so special about the alphabet soup of Twitter? It only allows 140 letters.
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?
Cons-serve
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
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