I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
Q: Why was the cherry by himself?
A: Because the banana split.
The peach was late for work because it had to make some pit stops on the way.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...
Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
What do you get when you photocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
"Great minds drink alike."
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?
Cardiac arrest.
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
Lettuce think about it.
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
Cherries are the worst soft fruits to watch scary movies with. They spend the whole time hiding behind a cushion as they are cherrified.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
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