Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
Q: Why did the fruit finish her homework so quickly?
A: Because the homework was a peach of cake.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
The cookie monster couldn’t make his bed, why? Because he couldn’t find his cookie sheets.
Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco? He pulled a muscle
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
What do you do if you see a blue banana? Try to cheer it up.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
What do you call a cow that has 2 legs? Side of beef
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
How did the fruit get to Hawaii? The pineapple express.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
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