Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
I had lunch once with a chess player at a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him 3 hours to pass me the salt.
So I was cleaning my spice cabinet...
and now I have a lot of thyme on my hands!
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
The peach couple from school is totally in love. They seem so perfect for peach other.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
Why was Officer Peanut Butter out in the road? Because he was directing a traffic jam.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said I was jammed.
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
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