I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What's the difference between Hummus and Humus?
"mmmm"
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
How did the Iceland repel the bananas attack? By freezing them
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
Why can't the bankrupt Hindu complain? He's got no beef.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
"I make pour decisions."
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.
Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.
Child: Yea...
Dad: Then why is there only one?
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
"On cloud wine."
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
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