He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.
The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
Do you know what is so special about the alphabet soup of Twitter? It only allows 140 letters.
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said I was jammed.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Go to BabaMail
