What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Kevin Bacon
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?
Because the sauce ages.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Why did the watermelon go crazy?
“He lost his rind.”
Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
They're pickle-ish.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
Why did I start making a cherry pie? Bake-cause I love it.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A tea party.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
We all know that the New England Patriots have their soup in the Super Bowl.
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
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