In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
"Back that glass up."
What vegetable is not allowed on ships? Leeks.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
The only type of berry you will ever find in a barn is a straw-berry.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
The jam bank went bankrupt because of the series of strobberies in the last quarter.
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on curry powder? He went into a korma.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Apparently, they're long enough already.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
My Ex Girlfriend stole my Hummus.
I told that chick, peace
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
"Wine a little, laugh a lot."
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
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