The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
I like you a latke!
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
Did you hear about the corn stalk that changed careers?
He went into a different field!
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
Usain bolt must be a fruit
Have you seen that mango?
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
Chopping down other people’s cherry trees is definitely frowned upon. However, you likely won’t get into too much trouble for it – as long as you keep hold of the axe!
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Those people are preparing peach gelato because they want to demonstrate their rights to freeze peach!
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
What do you get when you put Cola in an oven?
Baking soda.
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
I had lunch once with a chess player at a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him 3 hours to pass me the salt.
Why did the banana fail his driving test? He kept peeling out.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
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