What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Why does everyone want ice cream to be on their team?
Because with them, anything is popsicle.
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
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I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
I got arrested for the way I eat corn.
They charged me with a salt and buttery.
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
What do you call a dinosaur that drinks curry? A Mega-sore-arse.
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
Have you seen that awesome video of a Koala drinking tea high up in the trees?
It’s super high Koala-tea
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
Tennis matches and strawberry jam have one thing in common. Cons-serve.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
"Be kind, re-wine."
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
He is a humble husband. Unlike others, he never blows his crumpet after making breakfast for his wife everyday.
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
"Partners in wine."
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