Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
If we cross lobster bisque and Elon Musk, what we have is a soup-er car
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
What kind of keys do kids like to carry? Cookies!
I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
What kind of salad do termites eat?
House salad
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
I lost 90 pounds in 30 days on the juice diet
Every day I bought one juice for 3 pounds.
What do fruits do when they are avoiding a problem? They cherry their heads in the sand.
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? A hot, diggety dog.
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