The perfect name for a sad and morose strawberry is a blueberry.
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What do we get when we mix an iPhone and a Christmas tree? A pine – apple!
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
What do you call an avocado after a priest blesses it?
Holy guacamole.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
An Native American drank 100 cups of tea.
Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Having chicken broth before the game was a sure shot way to maintain energy for the Soup-er Bowl.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?
It’s just plain common scents.
"No wine left behind."
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
Why did the lettuce stop dating the mushroom?
He though she was a pretty fungal, but didn't have mushroom on its schedule.
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