Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
What is a cow's favorite deli meat? Bull-ogna!
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet!”
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
What do you call it when a taco stands in your way ?
An obs-taco
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
You’re wine in a million.
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What is the cherry fruit's favorite American talkshow? The Cherry Springer Show of course!
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?
Becuase he's a ROCKET MAN...
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
"Partners in wine."
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
A magnetic strawberry is always red and points north.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
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