Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
What did ketchup say while spotting his friend at the gym?
Mustard all of your strength!
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? A Macintosh
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
"I need to re-wine my life."
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
Q: Why was the cherry by himself?
A: Because the banana split.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
What kind of candy never arrives on time? Chocolate
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
Wine if you must. It’s not good to bottle up your emotions.
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
Why do the French eat snails? They dislike fast food.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
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