A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
My Ex Girlfriend stole my Hummus.
I told that chick, peace
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What do you drink with the Queen of England? Royal-Tea.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate his soup before it was cool.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
Did you know you can make a really good music player out of a cherry cake? It’s called a gateau blaster.
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
Why did one melon break up with the other melon?
“He didn’t know water problem was.”
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What do you call corn that joins the army?
Kernel.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
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