Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What do you get when you cross Elon Musk and lobster bisque? A souped up car.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.
The bartender looks at them and says “sorry guys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
How do you make dog bread? You use collie flour.
What soup killed Rob Stark? Italian Wedding Massacre.
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
You knead me in your loaf.
Did you get a side of hummus?
It's a hummuside.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
What did the baby corn call his dad?
Pop corn!
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
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