What was Valentine’s favorite dessert for the French cat?
Chocolate mousse
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
ALDI’s nuts.
Where do bananas go to learn to be sweet?
Sundae School.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
This might sound corny, but I think you’re a-maize-ing.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
What do horses like to put on their egg salad sandwiches?
MayoNAYS!
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
Today, I am eating a bun filled with pineapple and ham for my dinner. That is Hawaii roll.
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
"You're the wine that I want."
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
Berries are the most fashionista of the fruits, they can really cherry off the wildest outfits.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
The peach sports organization rended a commercial peach for a game of peach ball.
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
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