Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
You’re wine in a million.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
Did you hear about the new watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, it’s too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
Why do ice cream cones make such bad athletes?
They always get licked.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
What did the ice cream cone write on his valentine card?
You make me melt.
What is the suckiest fruit?
A strawberry.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
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