What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?
He mustard up the courage.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.
It was sodium disgusting.
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? Lookin' Sharp.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
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