Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
"On cloud wine."
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
"Back that glass up."
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
Did you know you can make a really good music player out of a cherry cake? It’s called a gateau blaster.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
What's the difference between a bipolar person and a loft full of lemons?
One's a bit erratic and the other's a bitter attic.
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt? An outboard apple.
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
A farmer complained that he didn't have enough fruit to make a living.
I told him he needs to grow a pear.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
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