Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
Whenever the peach father gets mad at his son, he just screams loudly: “You are the son of a peach!”
If you want day-old soup, then come back here tomorrow!
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
They're pickle-ish.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
Why don't they make ice cream from breast milk? It's an udderly bad idea!
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?.
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
The fruit started to stutter as it was suffering from peach deterioration.
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